the jungle never dies

I was just thinking about how I want to watch The Deerhunter and about how last time I watched that was in the animation studio in Bennington (which I don’t speak about very often here so maybe you forgot that I used to go to school a long time ago), and how there’s something I miss about being up late doing a project or writing a paper, and taking a break by taking a walk to see someone else doing sort of the same thing, or just taking a walk at all. It was the first time in a while that I hadn’t been afraid of the dark, when I gave up on my French paper for a minute and walked across campus, and it was a nice night and I just enjoyed it, and then watched the Russian Roulette scene before walking back to finish my paper (which I did).

The thing is now I’m surrounded by people who go to school, most of my friends here go to school, I teach at a high school, and I sort of feel like I skipped something by not having more nights like that. I’m ready to go back in the fall, even if it’s just for a few classes at ACC. At the same time, I know it won’t be the same, there won’t be much taking breaks to walk (although I suppose there will sort of, walking between my house and Epoch, but not just wandering walks), to watch a movie. This doesn’t make sense I guess, I just wanted to say I miss spring in Vermont and that even though I’m really happy to be here I guess I’ll always miss a little part of my life somewhere, I’ll have some nostalgia for something (even if it is la nostalgie de boue).

(First I spelled that la nostalgie de bou but I looked it up and bou means button. Boue means mud, in case you were wondering. So, nostalgia for mud, or nostalgia for something shitty that you paint as pretty because it’s in the past. I miss French a lot too.)